One of the most attractive traits in the world is confidence in women and it’s one of the most difficult ones to achieve!

You’ve guessed it…there’s lots of things we’d all like to go out and do in life, but often the biggest things stopping us accomplishing our goals and getting to where we’d like to be… is ourselves!

You’ll have heard the mantra ‘believe in yourself’, and quite right it is too. But it is easier said than done, and its advice that rarely is just heard and action taken upon it. 

Belief is the foundation from which action can happen so it’s unlikely that you’ll get far without it… but how do you actually instil in yourself a sense of belief? 

Let me explain…

How Belief Works

Your brain knows you can look left, so you do it without even thinking about it. Your brain knows you can walk, so you do it without even thinking about it. Your brain knows that you can pick up a phone, get out of bed, make toast, and read an article as you hot-foot it down the stairs… so you do it. 

But those big things that you’d like to do but haven’t before, you think twice about. You second guess your ability and if you don’t have the belief in yourself, you don’t progress. 

Of course, if you’re in an emergency situation and need to jump a gap or run away fast or take a swipe at something, you do it on the off-chance it could work. But when you have time to think, you have time to analyse, time to worry and to falter. 

Your lack of belief in yourself is a surge of belief in your ability to fail, and so your actions follow your thoughts. Similarly, if you do, truly, believe that you can do something, you do it…and usually, you do it well!

So, Can I Just Manifest Something And It’ll Happen?

Hmmm, so I’m not sure about this one. Manifestation seems to be a bit of a buzz word around coaching and confidence communities at the moment, and I love the idea of having goals and objectives to set your sights on and work toward. But it takes more than just imagining it. You gotta work for it!  

In my reality, and in my experience, it’s about working on yourself, building yourself up and then putting yourself in the best possible position for good things to happen.

Start Building Self-Belief

You’re not perfect, and if anyone knows that… it’s you! But you need to accept your current circumstances and accept that they’re current – they’re your ‘now’ and not your ‘future’. 

Your future expectations shouldn’t be based on your current circumstances. You have to think bigger and believe that you can create the life you want to live, regardless of how unrealistic it may sound in the current moment.  

Instead of spending too much time reflecting on where you are now, and getting frustrated because of it, trust that you’re on the right track and keep walking in the direction you want to go. If you ever feel out of control or uncomfortable, you can re-route; it’s all a journey.

If it helps to dream and manifest a little, of course you should go for it. 

Consider everything you’ve achieved so far and then imagine yourself taking on the new goal and achieving it. Imagine yourself achieving it to an acceptable level, to a good level and then finally, to an exemplary level. Map out what you need to do to get where you want to, and push past any discomfort or niggling feelings of inadequacies.

If you have to, ‘front it’, then play the part of the woman who is so well-achieving, and one who inspires confidence in women everywhere… (sounds good doesn’t it?). Walk in those shoes and act like you know what you’re doing and where you’re going on the outside, even if you feel a little quivery and anxious on the inside. 

When you do feel fear, allow it to grip you for a few seconds, and then let go and remember the acronym ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’. Until the worst happens, it hasn’t happened. You can’t dwell on the ‘maybe’.

Celebrate!

Once you have achieved even the smallest of steps on the track toward your dream, reflect upon it. 

Celebrate even the little wins and consider how far you’ve come. The building you’re making is to be done brick-by-brick… but soon, you’ll be adding the roof, smoking the chimney and enjoying the warmth inside!

Where do you start? Right here… ‘The 3 Simple Steps To Getting Exactly What You Want In Life’.