A Victim Mindset, or as its known more commonly, a Victim Mentality, is an inner self-doubt trait holding back women all over the world from reaching their true, confident selves; and in the process, is crippling their everyday lives in a variety of different ways!
Despite its name, it must be made clear that a ‘victim mindset’ does not need to be linked to being the victim of something criminal, upsetting or traumatising. Instead, it’s mentality built through three main beliefs:
First, that bad things happen and will continue to happen; secondly that other people or external circumstances outside of their control are to blame for those bad things happening; and thirdly, that working to create change and prevent or stop bad things from happening, will fail so shouldn’t be attempted.
A victim mindset is often unconsciously adopted as the result of going through frustratingly repetitive or disappointing situations in life. It’s never conducive to building confidence in women and cannot be allowed to thrive in a successful, healthy, positive lifestyle.
It can be extremely difficult to own up to holding a victim mentality, although you may never have realised it before – simply because it’s seen as such an unattractive and immature personality trait.
However, it needs to be acknowledged before it can be worked on, and admitting your brain isn’t processing negative actions or circumstances properly is the first step to continuing on a positive path.
Define What You Want Your Mindset To Be
It’s upsetting and frustrating to be stuck in a victim mentality – it’s as though you’re stuck in a rut with no way out.
Firstly, sit down and define self-doubt, for you. Define self-assured behaviours, for you. Write out some traits you’d like to have and what you’d like people to know you for; and then you can get stuck into working, to reaching for, and attaining them. From now on, you don’t follow your dreams; you lead them!
You must understand that although a victim mentality can initially bring attention and validation from other people, they will grow quickly tired of this and long-term, inter-personal relationships will suffer as a result.
OK, so you might not be exactly where you want to be or who you want to be right now, but there will be some goodness in your life.
Practicing gratitude can be as easy as just sitting down and writing three things that you’re grateful for each day or saying thank you to someone you appreciate but rarely vocalise that to. Reflect often on what is going right in your life. The little things matter, and it’s always important to remember that not every day is good, but there is good in every day.
Forgiving someone for their actions is easier said than done, but it’s not impossible! Even if someone’s intentions were bad, not forgiving them just makes you miserable and likely has no impact on them at all. Letting go of that bad feeling and moving on is hugely beneficial to ridding yourself of a victim mindset and will improve your overall mental health.
You are a fantastic, unique individual and you have many qualities – but not everything is about you, or because of you, or against you. A victim mindset frequently centres the individual in everything, when actually, there’s often no tangible connection there at all.
Keeping your perspective broader and more realistic allows you to find your position in a situation without assuming you’re entitled to play a main part. Don’t forget, there’s no starring role without a full backing crew!
Start Striving For Better
When you’ve been beaten down a few times, it’s easy to feel like there’s no point in trying to work for more. Even if it results in you not getting what you want first time round, you really must try and keep trying if you’re ever to do or find better. Keep on keeping on is the formula for this one! Small steps all add up and efforts are always admirable.
If you don’t like the way something is panning out, look at how you can change or improve it, and start work towards it in whatever way you can. Confidence in women is by no means an easily achievable trait, but it’s one that should be celebrated when it can be realised.
Battling out of a victim mentality to reach your true potential and be a happier, healthier person isn’t without complication but it’s always worth working on!