People pleasers and influencer type personalities draw energy and inspiration from time spent around others. They’re able to see the best in people and always learn something new from someone new – even if it’s that they don’t wish to spend much more time with them at all.
These bubbly and creative happy people are truly a joy to be around, and everyone needs at least one in their life as a friend. Yet as they thrive from others and derive delight and satisfaction from interacting with them, this personality type encountering rejection can feel devastating.
No one likes rejection, of course, but it’s really time that if you’re suffering greatly from it – or are stopping from doing things because of a fear of it – that you re-frame your thinking on the matter.
Rejection hurts, and the natural human reaction to it is usually upset, anger and/or frustration. These are normal and form part of the fight-of-flight response we all have. How we react to rejection after this initial burst of feeling can vary, though, and it can be controlled and changed if you have the desire to do so.
Eleanor Roosevelt famously said “a woman is like a teabag, you only know how strong she is when you put her in hot water” – and it’s this strength that you can use to see you through the period after a hurtful rejection.
One of the key lessons in how to build confidence and self-esteem is how to deal with rejection and how it affects your life. Any successful woman or role model will have a story about how their self-confidence results from a history of setbacks and hiccups and working hard to get through and try again. Life’s journey is by no means linear and neither is personal growth.
An inspirational quote I love is “rejection is redirection”. This is so true but so often overlooked. Believers in fate will say that if something doesn’t work out, it’s not meant to, but that can work against the mantra “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”. In truth, of course, you’ll know whether something is worth redirecting and reattempting your efforts on – or if you should learn the lesson, chalk up the losses and move on to bigger and better things.
Acknowledge and Accept How You Feel At First
Moving on is, as ever, harder than it sounds. The first step to doing so is to acknowledge your immediate reaction and your emotions. They are valid, and managed properly, needn’t hinder your progress thereafter. It’s important to recognise how and why you feel the way you do if you’re to move on. The best way to deal with tough emotions is to deal with them head-on. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel how you do; just keep it temporary, and time limited.
Analyse What Type Of Rejection You’ve Faced
Is the rejection you’re experiencing because you’re a boundary-breaker that others aren’t ready for? Is the rejection a reflection on them or a reflection on you? Is the rejection a good opportunity for you to pivot and change and take a new path? The truth is, if you never experience rejection, you’re not taking any chances and not living life to the fullest. Rejection is inevitable and to be expected but it needs to be understood, too.
Plan Your Next Move
OK, so that didn’t work out. What now? Taking any lessons you’ve learnt from the rejection, you can start to move forward on a new path and do some things in different ways. Being pragmatic and objective here will allow you to best strategise where you go from here. Many things in life don’t pan out exactly as planned… but if they did, things would be really boring. A new direction or approach can you give new motivation and a new zest for whatever it is you’re looking to achieve – so you’re much more likely to actually go and do so.
It would be impossible to go through life at a decent pace and quality and never experience any rejection, so why let it hold you back? You never know unless you try, and you never know when you win unless you fail first.